blond jokes

1)I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

2)Are You Really Sure?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

3)Blonde Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.The blonde started laughing.This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.This time the blonde laughed even harder.Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

4)Rowing Your Boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

NEVER MAKE WISHES

bar jokes

1)A rabbit walked into a bar and said to the bar man "got any carrots" the bar man said "sorry mate no"the next day the rabbit went into the bar agian and said "got any carrots" the bar man said "no" the next the rabbit went into the bar and said "got any carrots" the bar man said "NO" the next day the rabbit went into the bar and said "got any carrots" and the bar man said "this is your last waring not to ask agian NOOOOO" the next day the rabbit went into the bar and said got any carrots" the bar man said "ask agian i will pin your ears to the floor" the next day the rabbit went into the bar and said "got any pins" the bar man said "no" the rabbit said "good got any carrots then"

2)two men are wlaking their dogs. one is a dobberman and the other is a chiuhua. the guy with dobberman says,"hey lets get something to eat."the other guy says,"but the sign says no pets allowed."the dobberman guy says."follow my lead." he puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks in to the resteraunt. the owner says,"hey pal no pets allowed". the dobberman owner says,"but this is my seeing dog." "a dobberman?" ya thats what they're using these days its for self defense" the guy with the chihuhua sees that and puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks in. the owner says,"hey pal no pets." "but this is my seeing dog." "a chihuhua?" " achihuhua? they gave me a chihuhua?"

NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR JOB AGAIN...

Development

Croteam created their own engine for use in both First Encounter and Second Encounter. Named the "Serious Engine", it is designed to cope with extremely large view distances and massive numbers of models, unlike most FPS engines which are developed for a limited draw distance and only a few animating models (i.e. enemies) on screen at a time: it is very efficient, capable of maintaining dozens of moving enemies (often stampedes) even on a modest system challenging the well known Quake, Unreal or Half-Life engines. The "Serious Engine" can render through both Direct3D or OpenGL and, while it does not support pixel or vertex shaders, it is optimised for Direct3D 7's hardware transformation, clipping and lighting. The "Serious Engine" has been also available as a licensed engine from Croteam.
The next, more powerful iteration of the "Serious Engine" has been developed for use in Serious Sam II and has been called "Serious Engine II".This one has support for many of the features of modern GPUs such as pixel shaders,vertex shaders HDR,bloom and Parallax mapping.

Serious Sam III

Announced by Croteam and printed in many gaming news articles such as Eurogamer, there is a third game in the works. The game will be powered by the new "Serious Engine III" designed to run on modern systems. So far, there is no information as to what consoles the game will appear on or if it will appear on the PC.

Serious Sam II

The third game in the series was officially announced by Croteam and Take-two interactive for both the PC and the Xbox in April 2005 and released on October 11, 2005. A PC demo was made available on September 21. Although Serious Sam II is actually the third game in the series, the first two games are widely considered to be two halves to one larger game, similar to Doom and Doom II. Thus, Serious Sam II might be considered as the true sequel to The First Encounter and The Second Encounter.

serious sam the first encounter

Serious Sam: The First Encounter is based in ancient Egypt and the story goes that the Earth is invaded by aliens under the command of Mental, the Sirians, in the 22nd Century. And Earth's greatest hero, Sam, is teleported from the 22nd Century to ancient times to try to defeat the Sirians and change the course of history.
Most of the game is about Sam fighting the monsters that Mental sent after him. But during his wandering in acient Egypt, he activates a hidden Sirian communication device that calls a starship from the depths of space.
Finally Sam goes to the Great Pyramid to encounter the ship but is intercepted by Mental's general, Ugh Zan III. After a great battle, Sam teleports himself onto the starship, and directs the ship to Sirius, there Mental is, to defeat Mental.
And this is the end to the first game- Serious Sam the First Encounter.

Note: there is only one boss in this game, that's Ugh Zan III.

serious sam-second encounter

After Serious Sam The First Encounter, Serious Sam The Second Encounter continues the story.After Serious Sam got onto the starship you would imagine that he got to Sirius and defeated Mental, but no! His ship got hit by a small space-bus and he crash-lands on Earth, in Central America, but in the Mayan age. But the Sirians left a spare ship on Earth, but in another age, different to the one Sam is in. So he goes through Mesoamerica during the Mayan age, and finds the first time-gate, but it was guarded by Kukulkan, a Mayan god of wind, under the command of... Mental.

Then he got teleported to Mesopotamia where he got into the Tower of Babel, and faced another boss. It was the "Exotech Larva", it was a monster larva, half biological and half robotic, armed with hi-tech weapons. This monster was produced by... Mental. And finally Medieval Europe, where the ship is, and the final obstacle between Sam and the ship to Sirius is "Mordekai the Summoner" he is a un-dead creature revived and serving... Mental.

After the great battle against the Summoner, Sam enters the cathedral and holds the Holy Grail in his hands and confessed his sins in a booth... ... to Mental. And he says that he will get Mental.


END of game- Serious Sam the Second Encounter

my summer holidays (with video games)

My summer holidays took place in the same place I live,in Gran Canaria.

I played a lot of video games such as:

spore creature creator:

naruto ultimate ninja heroes 2:






naruto uzuaki chronicles 2:






DON:

pes 2008:pro cycling menanger:serous sam (1st, 2nd encounter,2):

It was fun playing all these games and lots more. I can't tell you all of them because I would be writing all day. These games are my favourite ones, they are the ones that I've played most. I recommend these games to all of the people who are looking at this blog. These are only the ones that I have played during my summer holidays when I came back from sailing at Las Canteras beach.

Welcome

Welcome to http://ivanss1b.blogspot.com
I am called Ivan Sherwood and I am the auther of this blog.
This blog will explain all about one of my favourite things, VIDEO GAMES!
I know that I haven't got lots of machines, I have only the PS2 and the PSP, but I still like to play with them.